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Life, Relationships

The Flexibility Factor


"Nothing in the World is More Flexible and Yielding"  Unknown

“Nothing in the World is More Flexible and Yielding” Unknown

I would like to share with you something I have come up with called the flexibility factor. I came up with this idea from seeking peace within tension without allowing myself to be moved from the path I was trying to travel. Here is how it happened.

Over the last few days I have noticed an increased tension around myself and those I interact with. Rather than stepping back and trying to see what may be the cause of this tension I have continued to ignore it and move forward with the expectation that everyone will just get over whatever it is that is causing them to create this undue tension.

Then the reality hit me, if I am noticing all this tension then maybe the factor in this equation is me. So I stepped back and noticed much of my tension, my daughter’s tension, the tension at work and the family tension is a direct result of expectations.

Expectations we place on others, expectations others place on us and worst are the expectations we place on ourselves. In the business world and in life there are certain expectations that can’t be ignored. The expectation to obey the laws set forth, the expectation that if we do our jobs we will receive our agreed upon salary, however, there are then those unspoken expectations.

If they cared they would do this, if they appreciated me they would do that, I deserve this, I deserve that. When these unspoken expectations aren’t met we become hurt or angry. The Dalai Lama said “I am open to the guidance of synchronicity, and do not let expectations hinder my path.”

To me he meant there are moments that we will not have those expectations met, maybe the boss doesn’t acknowledge you are the reason an account was acquired. Possibly your spouse didn’t remember something important to you, however, do not let this hinder your path of happiness or love.

There are numerous companies today that offer flexibility. The one I think of is the airline which lets you roll over extra miles to reach the next level of elite status.  They want to keep your flying with them even if you don’t fly enough to reach elite and have realized the key to that is flexibility.

Tom Robbins said, “Stay committed to your decision, but stay flexible in your approach.” If you’re committed to succeed at a company and aren’t getting the feedback you want rather than focus on the company’s failed expectations to motivate you, change your approach. Apply the flexibility factor. For example if my daughter isn’t meeting my expectations I could discuss them with her and stay flexible, maybe there’s anther approach that allows everyone to win. As a single mother I have learned to be flexible, to change my ideas and expectations without hindering my path or my commitment. ~ C.Nordyke

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